I sit, sipping clove green tea from a smooth black mug. I like drinking tea to reflect. There is something inherently comforting about the sensation, but also probing, pensive and exploratory. As I let a sip of the spicy, energizing substance slip down my throat, I think about self-discovery. How have I come to this point in my little existence and how has this class sculpted my experience?
"What am I doing?" I sometimes think to myself. "Why am I spending so much time working on this problem?" At times, I feel a deep inner turmoil, a feeling of inadequacy that lingers like eating fresh raspberries and biting into a Hemiptera bug. Or being aware that a friend is in need of help. Or sweltering in anomalously high temperatures that you know will only increase from here.
What I have realized in this class however, is that turmoil is a good thing. It shows that there is something that needs to be solved. As the problems of the world rage, we cannot continue to blindly work under the systems that are already in place. If there is inner turmoil, there is a reason to change, because that intuition is a reflection of an external reality. This class gives structure to recognize where internal conflict exists and provides the tools to make external adjustments. I have realized that my work needs to go deeper. When I feel those lingering feelings of dissatisfaction, I need a way to innovate something new. There is a fine balance to be struck between intuition and innovation. As we navigate the structures in place, we can patiently find solace in a cup of green tea and work out the inconsistencies one inch at a time.
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